The tear whisperer

You would think that all men are equipped with the same quantity of tears. What with all men being considered equal and such. Over the years, however, I came to the realization that yours truly, of all people, seem to have an inexhaustible source, because believe you me, I use them tears quite liberally, and I never seem to run out.

I guess most people cry when they’re sad. Some also cry when they’re deliriously happy (there’s also some sort of squealing involved in most of such cases, but I digress).

Well, no, not me.

I cry when I’m sad, I cry when I’m happy, I cry when the sun don’t shine from the right angle, I cry when I’m frustrated, I cry when I watch movies, I cry watching cartoons (some, ok?), I cry when I do nice things for other people and I realize I’m actually a wonderful person, I cry when I develop scenarios of nice things that I could do (but never actually get to the point of doing)…. Let’s just say I cry a lot.

And whoever tells you that crying ain’t contagious, doesn’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. Miss C. almost predictably gets runny-nosed and puffy-eyed when she so much as hears me sob. IN THE DARK. So there.

My question is this: what if I DO run out of tears just when I need them the most? When I really have something serious to cry about? What if I go dry to the point of complete dehydration just then? What will I do instead?

I shudder to think of the mad woman impression - , which I am now, and have been for so long, trying so hard to conceal - I will then, finally, begin to project.

Will keep you posted.

Sniff.