Death is obviously all around us, everywhere we look, at more or less any given time. I get that, I really do. It’s not only my cross to bear, and I sometimes feel like a whiny little bitch when I start complaining that the Universe seems to be conspiring against me more than against anyone else.
To be more specific: people close to my heart have started dying in rapid succession some …well, over 10 years ago. They just started going. It pisses me off, but I can hardly do anything to stop it. The shock of my grandmother’s death was almost unbearable, and it took me years to sort of get over the loss. My dad’s death was…well…I’m not even gonna go there. Nor will I make a list of my dead, it wouldn’t help, and it would be a bit too morbid even for me, but I will say this, and please help me, if you can, with an answer: is it true that in a way, in time, you get used to people just going and not coming back? Ever?
What can I do to be able to think of something else than death? I’m thinking creating new life would definitely change my focus, but is that really the answer?
It doesn’t really go away, does it? It just fades away…a little.
Thursday 10 February 2011
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About Me
- Hormonally Yours
- A bit erratic, a bit psychotic, a little calmer than when I started this, but still not out of the woods. This is kind of a diary, in more ways than one, one being that, with the exception of maybe one person (allowed), I'm the only one reading it, at least for now. Since it is of a rather personal nature, I'm not really sure anybody else would be interested anyway. If you do drop by, accidentally, enjoy and please don't mind the hormonal banter. I was "born with it."
2 comments:
The answer is yes. You get used to. But you need a little work. Actually a lot of work. I can give you a hint where to go, but the path is mapped inside you.
You alone are able to find it.
The idea is like this. The only thing that matters, is the present. The time is now. You need to let it go. Let the past in the past. Don't think about the future. The higher the hopes, the better the chance of disappointment.
Let it go. Let it flow. But follow the flow. Bend with the wind. Focus you attention on the present. Shut the noise done by the past and by the future and look around you. Feel the energy of the split second. You cannot control. Don't even try. Relax your spirit. Let go the grip.
Did I mention - "Let it go?".
did I mention that you almost had me hypnotized with those last words? I'm already imagining myself in a beautiful place, surrounded by light and colors and birds singing and slipping into a deep calming slumber :)) (Me, not the birds)
as for the letting go...that's the hardest part. that's also a work in progress. will keep you posted :)
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